Bullies and Bullying

[Swiss Tony]

Sorry but if you're dead does a dislodged eye socket and dodgy jaw really matter that much :p (sorry couldn't resist).

I was never a big fan of my Dad's solution which was to hit them twice as hard. I learned to become a good runner back in those days

Yes i agree,i always got mum to bye the very best trainers for that extra dash.

 

[Rob Noxious]

What do I do? Daughter has been told to speak to teacher but nothing is forthcoming. Do I batter the kids, which is probably not the correct route as it's hardly fair considering my size. Do I face out the parents and get satisfaction via that route or do I get annoyed by the school doing nothing then get arrested for battering parents, head teachers and horrible year 4 swines who dare to sling stones at my pride and joy. Advise gratefuly accepted.

I reckon this is the best way. Ulysses had some good advice here & the kids should, all being well, get some **** from their parents about it. That way, at least you've given the parents a chance to do something about it. If you keep a record of the time when you saw the parents & details of their names etc., with a mate there as a witness, then you can advise the OB that you've acted reasonably if nothing gets done and now you want them to do something about it.

 

[Jack The Flag]

Pay a few younger lads to get them ;)

 

[Pubey]

Definitely speak to the parents. I wouldn't take 'back up' as this could be seen as threatening by the old bill I'd guess. Threaten the parents with gdttingthe police involved if it happens again

 

[Vange Shrimper]

I was bullied in Year 7 of school. My brother then phoned up this girl's mother and basically told her what he thought. This girl was very popular and had more of an attitude than me and so was swearing at her mother while she was speaking to my brother. Mum didnt do anything about the swearing. Next day, I mentioned it to my form tutor who then spoke to the girl and it was sorted. Never proper mingled with her though, as once someone gets on the bad side of me, I'm very wary of them and dont get close to them.

As i'm now a form tutor to 30 Year 8 students, ive heard and seen recently there's some bullying going on within my own form class. A boy lamped another boy on Thursday in form, and a girl complaining that one of the popular boys keeps on making comments to her. What do I do? I have words with the students, then I speak to the Head of Year who then deals with the lot of it, usually by speaking to parents and handing out punishments.

It's shocking and wrong. Come the day when you leave school and do your own thing and then you have a school reunion, the little *******s who used to torment you come over and try and be all friendly with you. Then you can turn round and tell them to **** right off....

 

[Dave of the Match]

I know from a teachers point of view it is VERY hard to stop bullying, thats why with the best intentions and hard work, it still goes on.

I do beleive that kids need to take some ownership of the situtation... I'm not saying you need to tool up your daughter so she goes in and batters them... but if you can help her deal with the situation herself it will be far more empowering and longer lasting.

Helping to raise kids self confidence and sense of what is right and wrong helps - and I'm not saying you need to directly do this with your daughter - I mean as a school thats what they need to be doing. I have lots of bullying issues with my Y8 form, and one of the ways we deal with it is openly discussing it in the class. I try to develop a sense of shared responsibility. For example, this week some of the other Y8 boys created a Facebook group (a whole new side of bullying that is VERY hard to police) about a boy having a small penis, and an event where they were going to beat him up. A few members of the form had 'accepted' the event, so we discussed how that would make people feel (the boy in question was off as he was so upset), and actually the class ended up having a go (in a controlled, classroom way) at the people that joined, those who did joined apologised to the class, and when the boy returned they literally all welcomed him back with open arms. I'm not saying for one minute I have all the answers, but making kids realise what they are doing is wrong and why is key. Most of the time they just don't think...

Back to your daughter, I think it is important to inform the school, but don't expect a radical, visible solution. Often there are things I just don't know about! Equally for a child, just to tell a teacher really helps. Schools can then build up a picture of who is a bully and who is being picked on and work out ways of dividing to conquor the bullies, helping them to see the error of their ways, or as sometimes happens, being a little more understanding when some one 'let's rip' and punches a bully (again a scenario I had, a boy that I knew was getting some hassle, blew his top and punched a bully in the face... in normal circumstances he would be suspended, but in this case, I took the poor tormented lad and he had a cup of tea and biscuit in the learning support centre - I made it clear that his behaviour was not acceptable, but that I understood why it happened - he didn't get teased again).

Anyway just a few nuggets from me, not an answer I'm afraid, but as said on here, don't lose the plot, be calm and try to work out strategies both with school and your daughter.

This is all going round our school too; but with us the problem is that if it isn't received as "banter" (which 99% of the time it is just "banter" and can just laugh it off and never hear of it again), then people realise that they've taken it to heart and so they pick on them more.

 

[BrettieAngell]

It's shocking and wrong. Come the day when you leave school and do your own thing and then you have a school reunion, the little *******s who used to torment you come over and try and be all friendly with you. Then you can turn round and tell them to **** right off....

I would never go to a school reunion most of the people at my school were ****ing dicks!

 

[Vange Shrimper]

I would never go to a school reunion most of the people at my school were ****ing dicks!

Well, I dont. Im still in contact with all the guys I was good mates with at school, college, Uni etc. I see them when I can, but everyone else who I went to school with can **** off, as Im just not interested.

 

[MK Shrimper]

I would never go to a school reunion most of the people at my school were ****ing dicks!

Damn straight. Happiest time of your life? The was the day I left that torturous ***** hole was the happiest.

 

[OldBlueLady]

This is all going round our school too; but with us the problem is that if it isn't received as "banter" (which 99% of the time it is just "banter" and can just laugh it off and never hear of it again), then people realise that they've taken it to heart and so they pick on them more.

Sounds very familiar!

 

[Crawliano]

Sounds very familiar!

Is there some sort of OBL has a small penis facebook group or something then?

:unsure:

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

Sounds very familiar!

Are you referring to some of your posts on here OBL, when certain posters seem to reply in a very un-friendly and bullying manner to you?

 

[THE SEVENTIES NORTH BANK]

What do I do? Daughter has been told to speak to teacher but nothing is forthcoming. Do I batter the kids, which is probably not the correct route as it's hardly fair considering my size. Do I face out the parents and get satisfaction via that route or do I get annoyed by the school doing nothing then get arrested for battering parents, head teachers and horrible year 4 swines who dare to sling stones at my pride and joy. Advise gratefuly accepted.

The first thing to do is go to the school and speak to the Head Teacher. Forget about talking to your daughters teacher, as they already have too much on their plate, and only seem good at dealing with these things if all the children involved are in their class. Plus the respect thing can come into it, as most bullies or very naughty children don't take much notice of normal teachers. Whearas just the fact that they are called in to see the Head teacher, and then told their parents will be notified if their behaviour continues, it usually has an impact, and I suspect your daughter will be left alone.
This is what I did in regards to my daughter, and it worked.


Of course you can never ever lay a finger on the young bullies, the days of the clip around the ear and a stern warning are long gone. Nowadays, you will end up with a fine and conviction, or some idiot parent knocking on your door, offering you out side, and if you beat him up you'll get knicked again.

The second thing I would do is start your daughter at a martial arts class, great for fitness, discipline and of course invaluable life long skills at self defence.

 

[OldBlueLady]

Is there some sort of OBL has a small penis facebook group or something then?
:unsure:

Not quite that, but something not very pleasant.

Are you referring to some of your posts on here OBL, when certain posters seem to reply in a very un-friendly and bullying manner to you?

Well, was more my reacting to it I was getting at to be honest!

As to GHG's problem, the school will have a policy on bullying. Ask to see a copy of it and then point out their inability to enforce their policy. Schools find it very difficult to do so effectively despite their best efforts and they won't like you pointing this out to them but they will then be forced to take action.

I must have had a very sheltered childhood because I never saw anything like this going on! And I've been fairly lucky with my two because although they've both encountered bullies neither has had to face physical bullying, and certainly not from an older sibling or parent (that's what I read in horror, adults taking revenge on children, completely wrong and surely assault).

 

[Rob Noxious]

I was reminded of this interesting thread yesterday by a friend's post on Facebook:-

Request to all kids returning to school over the next week......... If you see someone who is struggling to make friends or being bullied because they don't have many friends or because they are shy or not as pretty or not dressed in the most "in" clothes, PLEASE step up. Say hi or at least smile at them on the way to class. You never know what that person might be facing outside of school. Your kindness might just make a BIG difference in someone's life! Help stop the Bullying ...

GHG - what happened in your situation and did you use any of this advice? If so, what advice did you use and did it work?

 

[class]

Last I heard was that he was doing time for Assault....:winking:

 

[Hotman]

I was reminded of this interesting thread yesterday by a friend's post on Facebook:-

Request to all kids returning to school over the next week......... If you see someone who is struggling to make friends or being bullied because they don't have many friends or because they are shy or not as pretty or not dressed in the most "in" clothes, PLEASE step up. Say hi or at least smile at them on the way to class. You never know what that person might be facing outside of school. Your kindness might just make a BIG difference in someone's life! Help stop the Bullying ...

Hi BarnaBlue! :smile:

 

[davewebbsbrain]

I was reminded of this interesting thread yesterday by a friend's post on Facebook:-

Request to all kids returning to school over the next week......... If you see someone who is struggling to make friends or being bullied because they don't have many friends or because they are shy or not as pretty or not dressed in the most "in" clothes, PLEASE step up. Say hi or at least smile at them on the way to class. You never know what that person might be facing outside of school. Your kindness might just make a BIG difference in someone's life! Help stop the Bullying ...

GHG - what happened in your situation and did you use any of this advice? If so, what advice did you use and did it work?

I find it very surprising that 2 kids can be brought up the same way. One can post rational, friendly posts yet the other is an antagonistic lefty full of anger and vitriol

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

I find it very surprising that 2 kids can be brought up the same way. One can post rational, friendly posts yet the other is an antagonistic lefty full of anger and vitriol

Yea but barnys angry as well sometimes.

 

[Dick Bate's Protege]

The Mrs and I had a bit of trouble like this with our eldest a couple of years ago. On the third occasion we went in to the head teacher and made it clear that she could either sort it out quietly or we would publicly. Thankfully that seemed to work, she obviously didn't want a public spectacle, and the kid concerned was eventually threatened with expulsion for various issues in his very first year of school.

Our plan had been to confront and embarrass the kids parents after school in front of everybody if we hadn't got our own way; not really either of ours style but at the same time you can't start intimidating 5 year old kids without looking the villain yourself. As much as you're clearly annoyed, I strongly urge you not to involve yourself with the kids concerned.